DAY 24
離開與連合
雷克-喬納 Rick Joyner
翻譯：Kate
轉載/轉寄 請註明出處：國度禱告網
因此，人要離開父母，與妻子連合，二人成為一體。（創世記2:24）
父親和母親與子女的關係是獨特而特殊的。由於這個原因，唯一附有應許的誡命是："當孝敬父母，使你的日子在耶和華─你神所賜你的地上得以長久。"（出埃及記20:12）。我們的壽命取決於我們對父親和母親的尊敬。即使如此，當我們結婚時，我們必須離開我們的父親和母親，與我們的伴侶相聚。
"離開"父母並不意味著我們必須切斷與他們的所有關係。我們應該與他們有關係，並在我們生命中的所有日子裡尊重他們。然而，當我們結婚時，我們與他們的關係必須改變。從那時起，為了緩解孤獨感的主要心靈交流必須來自我們的伴侶，而不是父母。其他的都將是對兩種關係的扭曲。
一個男人或女人在結婚後繼續與他們的父母連合，這是不自然的。如果他們這樣做，兩種關係的破壞是可能的，同時也會傷害他們自己的靈魂。在每個男人的生命中都有一個時點，他必須成為他自己家裡的男人。在每個女人的生命中都有一個時點，她必須建立自己的家庭。這個時點就是結婚。
父親或母親對兒子或女兒的權柄在婚姻中被切斷。父親和母親可以在他們的孩子提出要求時，總是用建議和智慧幫助他們。然而，在婚後，父母的控制將對其子女的生活產生破壞性影響。我們被創造出來是為了自由，如果我們成熟到可以結婚，我們就成熟到可以做出決定並承擔我們選擇的責任。如果我們不允許這種基本責任的發展，就會使我們所創造的目的的最終實現更加困難。
在經文中，我們還看到當男人和女人離開他們的父親和母親，與對方結合時，就成為一體。在婚姻承諾之前的性行為貶低了性的美好目的，並會使兩人之間更高層次的結合變得更加困難。因此，新婚夫婦可以給對方的最大禮物之一是童貞。一起探索和發展充實的性生活不僅是美妙的體驗，它將兩人聯繫在一起，加強婚姻，這是其他事物所不能比擬的。性不是最高層次的共融，但它是造物主給我們的一個美妙禮物，幫助我們追求最高層次的共融。
作為父母，我們必須明白，我們所做的任何干預子女與配偶關係的事情，可能會使他們避免一些短期的錯誤，但從長遠來看，通常會對他們非常不利。作為父母，我們往往確實從過去的經驗中獲得更多的智慧。有時我們很難讓我們的孩子去做那些我們知道對他們不是最好的事情。然而，不讓他們在彼此的關係中成長，共同面對這樣的選擇，並處理後果，無論它們是好是壞，都會對他們造成更大的傷害。他們必須學會 "連合 "對方，有時他們的錯誤從長遠來看可以幫助他們更多。當我們的孩子結婚時，我們與他們的關係必須改變。婆媳關係的壓力是婚姻中的一個主要破壞性力量。阻止年輕夫婦學習彼此連合的主要力量之一是他們父母的干涉。父母們，為了你們的孩子，當他們結婚時，讓他們離開(let them go)。
在婚姻中，如果我們的父母不理解這個基本問題，要學習如何離開我們的父親和母親，這往往是一個嚴重的考驗。然而，必須這樣做，我們必須與我們的配偶結合，但仍要尊重我們的父親和母親。很少有人能夠在這個困難的過程中不受一些挫折。即便如此，這對真正充實的婚姻也是必不可少的。出於這個原因，通常強調 "離開 "你父母這話是好的。如果有必要，盡可能地遠離他們，以防止錯誤的干擾。這可能會有一段時間的痛苦，但如果不這樣做，以後會更痛苦。每對新夫婦都需要建立他們自己的家庭，以及他們自己作為家庭的身份。如果我們要在自由中行走，成為我們被創造的人，這是另一個必要條件。
DAY 24
Leaving and Cleaving
Rick Joyner
For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).
The relationship of fathers and mothers to their children is unique and special. For this reason the only commandment that had a promise attached to it was, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you" (Exodus 20:12). Our longevity is dependent upon our honoring our fathers and mothers. Even so, when we marry, we must leave our fathers and mothers and cleave to our mates.
To "leave" our fathers and mothers does not mean we must cut off all relationship to them. We should relate to them, and honor them all the days of our lives. However, when we marry, our relationship to them must change. From that point, the primary communion of hearts that is designed to alleviate the loneliness must come from our mates, not our parents. Anything else will be a perversion of both relationships.
It is not natural for a man or woman to continue cleaving to their parents after they are married. If they do this, destruction of both relationships is possible, as well as the wounding of their own souls. There is a point in every man's life when he must become the man of his own home. There is a point in every woman's life when she must establish her own household. That point is marriage.
The authority of a father or mother over a son or daughter is cut at marriage. Fathers and mothers may always help their children with advice and wisdom when it is requested. However, after marriage, parental attempts to control will be destructive to the lives of their children. We were created to be free, and if we are mature enough to marry, we are mature enough to make the decisions and bear the responsibility of our choices. If we do not allow this basic responsibility to develop, it will make the ultimate accomplishment of our created purposes much more difficult.
In this Scripture, we also see when the man and woman leave their father and mother to cleave to each other, they become one flesh. Sex before the commitment of marriage debases the wonderful purpose of sex, and will make the higher levels of union between the two much more difficult. Therefore, one of the greatest gifts that newlyweds can give to each other is virginity. The exploration and development of a fulfilling sex life together is not only a wonderful experience, it bonds the two together, strengthening the marriage like few other things can. Sex is not the highest level of communion, but it is a wonderful gift from our Creator to aid our quest for the highest levels of communion.
As parents, we must understand that anything we do to interfere in the relationship of our children with their spouses may save them from some short term mistakes, but will usually be very detrimental to them in the long run. As parents, we often do have more wisdom gained from past experiences. Sometimes it is hard for us to let our children go and do things which we know are not the best for them. However, to not let them grow in their relationship to each other, by facing such choices together, and dealing with the consequences whether they are good or bad, will hurt them more. They must learn to "cleave" to each other, and sometimes their mistakes can help them more in the long run. When our children marry, our relationship to them must change. In-law stress is a major destructive force in marriage. One of the primary forces that keeps young couples from learning to cleave to one another is the interference of their parents. Parents, for the sake of your children, when they marry, let them go.
In marriage, it is often a serious trial to learn how to leave our fathers and mothers if our parents do not understand this basic issue. However, it must be done and we must cleave to our spouses, and yet still honor our fathers and mothers. Few are able to navigate this difficult course without a few bruises. Even so, it is essential for a truly fulfilling marriage. For this reason, it is usually good to emphasize the word "leave" your father and mother. If necessary, move as far away from them as you can to prevent the wrong kind of interference. It may be painful for a while, but it can be much more painful later if not done. Every new couple needs to establish their own household, and their own identity as a family. This is another essential if we are to walk in the freedom that is required to be who we were created to be.