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主題:身份認同系列之3 – 揭示我們真實價值的真理
日期:2014年11月3日
作者:Adela Just

 “你看父賜給我們是何等的慈愛,使我們得稱為神的兒女;我們也真是他的兒女。”(約翰一書3:1)

在過去的幾年中,關於年輕人從教會大規模出走的事情已經被大量地寫出和討論。這是一個令人不安的模式,在看到青少年團體的屬靈領袖,當他們長大成人時,在一段時間後,開始遠離從小就相信的與信仰有關的一切事情。它一直是書籍和部落格,研討會和會議所頻繁討論的話題 – 這種對於所愛的人遠離信仰在痛心澈肺下的哀傷回應。其他時候對於這個令人不安的趨勢的論述是以一連串的指責和批評將矛頭指向教會。通常情況下,這難題似乎是個並沒有滿意的答案的一個仍然存在的問題。

答案其實可能比所有的討論結果還簡單得多,並且可能在基督教一些最基本的教義中已提及,特別是關於神對我們的愛顯示在我們的身份認同這方面。

錯誤的思想顯露出來

近日,聖靈使用一件事來突顯出即使已經經歷多年與祂同行的關係,對於安息在神對我的愛裡面,我仍然有困難。

我三歲的兒子有一個低糜的一日,這包括對他的妹妹不客氣,很多的大呼小叫,以及頻繁的情緒崩潰。我的精神可說是全然疲憊,當他又要開始發脾氣,我將他逮到他的床上,告訴他,他必須平靜下來才能夠出來(雖然暗地裡我希望他能夠入睡,給他可憐的媽媽一點休息)。

我關上他的房門,停頓了片刻,讓我自己呼吸和平靜下來。站在他的房間外面,我的腦海裡競相揣測著我的育兒技巧在那一天到底是哪兒出錯了,我聽到聖靈輕聲對我說道,他這樣的行為是否讓他不值得你愛了呢?

我大吃一驚。當然不是!我在靈裡頭回應。在這一刻可能很難讓我來喜歡他,但我絕不會說他不值得我愛。他是我的兒子啊!

在我的心慌意亂中,過了片刻,真理才落實在我裡面。這就是我自己來相信神的愛的光景。這就是關於上帝的愛,我所一直被教導的 - 因為我是如此的不完美,所以我不配得。

我們一直在講的是什麼樣的信息?

我曾經遇到許多在基督徒家庭長大的人卻仍有所困難的這種情形,完全不知如何應對和接受神對他們的愛。我花了很多時間哭泣,不知道要如何是好 - 甚至是在與神有許多深刻的相遇之後 - 我還是有困難地單單安息在祂對我的愛裡面。這樣的失去連結是如此地困擾我,但在育兒這個充滿挑戰的時刻中,開始清晰起來了。

我們很難接受上帝的愛,是因為我們相信自己並不配得。我們覺得情形是這樣,僅管我們有所有的這些失敗,祂是在可憐我們或是選擇來愛我們,而不是在我們所有的失敗中仍愛著我們。而誰會願意在這情況下被同情或被愛呢?這不是我們心中所渴望的那親密的,無條件的愛。但,這卻是我們所教導的,我們所說的,以及在敬拜中所唱的:

 “我們是如此卑微,但祂仍然愛我們。”

 “我不配得神的愛,但祂仍然賜給我。”

 “我們是如此罪孽深重到上帝都沒法來接近我們。祂必須派祂的兒子(為我們)來死才行。“

我相信,敵人已經在我們對福音的理解中編織這個謊言,因為它阻止我們認知我們是神的兒女的這個真實身份。相反地,這欺騙阻止我們行走在提供給我們的權柄和應許中。

神不是因為可憐我們才來愛我們。祂愛我們,因為我們是祂的孩子。我們配得祂的愛,就只是因為我們屬於祂。正如我一刻也不會因為他的不良行為就視他為不值得我的愛,上帝不會因為我們不完美就認為我們不配得祂的愛。作為事實上,羅馬書中指出,神對我們長闊高深的愛在祂願意不計代價地來犧牲和愛,差派祂的愛子在我們還作罪人的時候為我們死就顯明了(羅馬書5:8)(注1)。

耶穌在十字架上的死並非神無力忍受去接近如此罪惡的孩子們;它是在於神無法承載沒有我們的這種想法。罪在我們身上會導致什麼後果,如此行會讓我們與祂分離,因為祂要我們靠近祂,祂願意賜給我們永恆的生命,這些是該認知的。十字架本身正是我們的價值的深刻聲明 – 沒有擔保我們是否會選擇來擁抱耶穌所做的犧牲,祂仍然視我們為值得來獻身的;我們正是那擺在祂前面的喜樂(參希伯來書12:2)(注2)。

認為我們不值得祂的愛的危險在於這兩個陷阱:要麼我們終極一生去奮鬥打拼要讓自己值得祂來愛我們,要不然我們就是在絕望中放棄,因為我們永遠都不夠好。無論哪條路徑都阻止了我們來完全擁抱我們真實的身份,並經歷它所帶來的自由。

觀念轉換

剷除舊的思維並發展新的這可能是一個具挑戰性的過程,但它是值得的。這裡是一個起點:

  1.   求聖靈透露給你,對於你自己的價值,你相信了哪一個謊言。
  2.   問問自己:假如你有絕對的信心,沒有什麼會讓你與神的愛相隔絕,那麼你會怎麼做?(羅馬書8:38-39)(注3)?你願意承擔怎樣的風?你會追求什麼樣的夢想?考慮看看寫下這些或是與信任的朋友分享。
  3.   默想與本文相關的經文,使它成為一個日常習慣,讓真理在你裡面深深紮根。你是最值得上帝的愛的,祂把它耗擲在你身上正是祂的樂趣! 


 

注1:羅5:8 惟有基督在我們還作罪人的時候為我們死,神的愛就在此向我們顯明了。

注2:來12:2 仰望為我們信心創始成終的耶穌(或譯:仰望那將真道創始成終的耶穌)。他因那擺在前面的喜樂,就輕看羞辱,忍受了十字架的苦難,便坐在神寶座的右邊。

注3:羅8:38 因為我深信無論是死,是生,是天使,是掌權的,是有能的,是現在的事,是將來的事,
羅8:39 是高處的,是低處的,是別的受造之物,都不能叫我們與神的愛隔絕;這愛是在我們的主基督耶穌裡的。



Unlocking the Truth About Our Worth
November 3rd, 2014
By Adela Just

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” - 1 John 3:1a

For the past several years, a great deal has been written and discussed regarding the mass exodus of young people from the church. It is a disturbing pattern to see the same kids who were spiritual leaders in their youth groups grow into adulthood and, over a period of time, begin to walk away from everything they were raised to believe. It has been the frequent topic of books and blogs, workshops and conferences--eliciting gut-wrenching responses from loved ones who grieve over such departures from faith. Other times the troubling trend is explained away with a list of accusations and criticisms towards the Church. Often, the problem seems to leave us with questions for which there are no satisfactory answers.

The answer may be far simpler than all the discussions suggest, and may lie in the way some of the most foundational tenets of Christianity have been presented, in particular, the way in which the issue of God’s love for us speaks to our identity.

Wrong Thinking Exposed

Recently, the Holy Spirit used an experience to highlight my own struggle with resting in God’s love for me, even after years of walking in relationship with Him.

My three-year-old son was having one of his less-than-charming days, which included being mean to his sister, lots of yelling, and frequent meltdowns. My nerves were completely frazzled, and as he launched into yet another tantrum, I took him up to his bed, telling him he could come back out when he had calmed down (although secretly I was hoping he was going to fall asleep and give his poor mommy a break).

I pulled his door shut and paused a moment, willing myself to breathe and calm down. Standing there outside his room, as my mind raced to figure out where my parenting skills had gone awry that day, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me, Does his behavior make him unworthy of your love?

I was taken aback. Of course not! I responded in my spirit. He might be hard for me to like right in this moment, but I would never say he’s not worthy of my love. He’s my son!

It took a moment in my flustered state before the truth settled into me. This is what I have believed about God’s love. This is what I have been taught about God’s love--that I do not deserve it because I am so imperfect.

What Message Have We Been Speaking?

I used to be utterly bewildered by the number of people I encountered who had grown up in Christian homes but still struggled to accept God’s love for them. I spent many hours weeping and wondering how--even after the many profound encounters I’d had with God--I still struggled to simply rest in His love for me. The disconnect troubled me so much, but in this challenging moment of parenting, clarity began to come.

We struggle to accept God’s love because we believe we are not worthy of it. We feel He has taken pity on us or chosen to love us in spite of all our failings rather than in the midst of all our failings. And who wants to be pitied or loved in spite of something? This is not the intimate, unconditional love our hearts desire. But this is what we teach and say and sing in our worship gatherings:

“We’re so unworthy, but He still loves us.”

“I don’t deserve God’s love, but He still gives it to me.”

“We were so sinful that God could not bear to be close to us. He had to send His Son to die.”

I believe the enemy has woven this lie into our understanding of the gospel because it keeps us from knowing our true identity as children of God. In turn, this deception keeps us from walking in the authority and promises available to us.

God does not love us because He pities us; He loves us because we are His children. We are worthy of His love simply because we belong to Him. Just as I would not for a moment see my son as undeserving of my love because of his bad behavior, God does not see us as undeserving of His love even when we are less than perfect. As a matter of fact, Romans declares that the depths of God’s love toward us are revealed in His willingness to extravagantly sacrifice and love us through the gift of His Son even while we were still tangled up with sin (see Romans 5:8).

Jesus’ death on the cross was not about God’s inability to bear being near such sinful children; it was about God being unable to bear the thought of being without us. It was the knowledge of what sin would do to us, the way it would separate us from Him, and His willingness to throw us the ultimate lifeline because He wanted us near. The cross is a profound declaration of our value--with no guarantee of whether or not we would choose to embrace the sacrifice Jesus made, He still saw us as worth dying for; we were the joy that was set before Him (see Hebrews 12:2).

The danger in believing we are unworthy of His love lies in two traps: either we will spend a lifetime striving and fighting to be worthy of His love, or we will give up in despair because we can never be good enough. Either path keeps us from fully embracing our true identity and experiencing the freedom it brings.

Shifting Perspectives

Uprooting old ways of thinking and developing new ones can be a challenging process, but it is worth it. Here is a starting place:


  1. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal places where you have believed a lie about your worth.

  2. Ask yourself: what would you do if you were absolutely confident that nothing would separate you from God’s love (see Romans 8:38, 39)? What risks would you be willing to take? What dreams would you pursue? Consider writing these things down or sharing them with a trusted friend.

  3. Make it a daily practice to meditate on the verses referenced in this article, and let truth deeply root itself within you. You are most certainly worthy of God’s love, and it is His pleasure to lavish it upon you!