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主題:身份認同系列之8–成為神成熟的兒子
日期:2014年11月17日
作者:Diane Lake

 “受造之物切望等候 神的眾子顯出來。”(羅馬書8:19)

我們在基督裡的身份的中心點就是,我們是神的兒女。首先,我們重生得救藉此而進入永恆的生命(參約翰福音1:12-13;3:16;約翰一書3:1)(注1)。第二,我們的成長乃藉著神的靈的引導而變為神成熟的兒子和女兒(參羅8:14-19;加4:5-7)(注2)。在約翰福音1:12和約翰一書3:1所用的希臘字是teknon,指的是兒童或新生的信徒。相反的,在羅馬書8:14-19和加拉太書4:7這裡所引用的希臘字是huios,意思是成熟的,成年的兒子,承襲了其父的名字和權柄,財產和職責。

簡單地說,作為神的兒女,我們擁有繼承權,但作為成熟的兒女,我們持有支取的鑰匙。成熟的兒子藉著達成神的目地來從事天父的事業。耶穌不只是為了我們可以得生命而來,祂也要我們得著更豐盛的生命(約翰福音10:10)(注3)。祂不光是要我們可以重生得救,並且我們也可以長大成熟,成為裝備完全能將祂的旨意實踐在地上的祂屬靈的兒女。

童年的重要性

成為擁有足夠的安全感以及成熟的神的屬靈孩子,其成長過程中一個很重要的部分,就是允許神來醫治我們因著童年時期的影響而導致的任何不敬虔的心態或傷害。一般情況下,我們將童年時期與父母相處的經驗投射在我們與天父的關係裡。因此,從可能會影響到我們與神的關係的任何負面的觀點中釋放得自由是很重要的。

即使是最好的,最敬虔的父母也是不完美的,所以我們要讓聖靈來處理可能會影響到我們做為神的兒女,自己本身的觀點這方面的任何問題。例如,你可能覺得自己身為孩子的時候是感到安全和幸福的,但如果沒有,你可能需要主醫治的觸摸,所以你不會覺得祂在始終如一地供應你這方面會放棄或在某種方式上失敗了。

饒恕是關鍵

在這個過程中重要的第一步就是對於你童年經歷中任何的虐待或缺乏,積極原諒你的父母。耶穌對此設立了模式,祂說道,“父啊!赦免他們;因為他們所做的,他們不曉得。”(路加福音23:34)。大多數家長的本意是好的,一般也都竭盡所能來保護和培育自己的孩子,能了解這點就有很大的助益。大多數負面的教養不是因著邪惡的意圖,而是從我們父母自己本身未曾愈合的傷口以及被拒絕的問題所造成的。

如果他們明白在基督裡自己所應該做的,幾乎沒有家長會導致自己的孩子受傷害。寬恕既不是縱容也不是消極行為的藉口,而是讓我們將最後的審判交在上帝的手中(彼前2:23)(注4)。無論我們與父母的關係是否能成為我們所想要的那種,饒恕讓我們的靈魂得自由而能夠得著醫治。

具體的經驗可以影響到身份認同

另一個關鍵步驟,是請求聖靈點出童年經歷中任何具體的與身份認同有關的需要處理之處。它可能是顯而易見的,但它也可能是一些更細微的,沒有你所想像的那麼具戲劇性。

舉我個人的例子來說,我是我家中第三個女兒。我的父母是真正又好又有愛心的人,但我的爸爸一直特別強烈地希望能有一個兒子。他們並沒有計劃要有兩個以上的孩子,所以當我“碰巧”出現了,他對於這是一個男孩的希望和憧憬尤為強勁。

後來,成為一個在主裡越來越長大的成年人,聖靈點出我一直都有需要證明和捍衛自己這方面的傾向。很明顯的,即使只是子宮內的一個小寶寶,我已經吸收了我應該是一個小男孩的這種想法。成長過程中,我總是覺得需要來證明自己 – 成為一個完美主義者和高成就者;我被感覺不配困擾著,也因著恐懼失敗而跛足。我並沒有想到這樣的經驗會造成如此大的一個大問題,也一點不了解它對我所影響的程度。當我閱讀詩篇139篇,超自然的醫治服事了我,我受傷的心靈認知到我確是出生成為上帝所希望我成為的樣子!

應用的要點

因為凡被 神的靈引導的,都是 神的兒子。“(羅馬書8:14)

感覺不配,被拒絕,或是需要來努力證明自己或者贏得神的恩寵,這些是很常見的,而且往往源於童年的創傷和經驗。讓上帝來告訴你是否需要以及如何來接受醫治,使你作為祂的孩子能更豐盛地看待你全面和完整的身份。

  • 藉著主的幫助,將聖靈提醒你的,你的父母對你曾有的任何不當行為/傷害加以饒恕 – 要記住如果他們知道自己在做什麼,你的父母就不會傷害你。(如果有身體或精神上的虐待,你可能也需要尋求具有愛心的專業的幫助,比如你的牧師或基督教的治療師。)
  • 當主將孩童時期的根源問題帶出來的時候,請求祂來醫治你,並從任何不配,自卑,拒絕或放棄/忽視的靈中將你釋放出來。
  • 禱讀和默想詩篇139和羅馬書8章。

 

注1:約1:12 凡接待他的,就是信他名的人,他就賜他們權柄作 神的兒女。
約1:13 這等人不是從血氣生的,不是從情慾生的,也不是從人意生的,乃是從 神生的。
約3:16 「 神愛世人,甚至將他的獨生子賜給他們,叫一切信他的,不致滅亡,反得永生。
約一3:1 你看父賜給我們是何等的慈愛,使我們得稱為 神的兒女;我們也真是他的兒女。世人所以不認識我們,是因未曾認識他。

注2:羅8:14 因為凡被神的靈引導的,都是 神的兒子。
羅8:15 你們所受的,不是奴僕的心,仍舊害怕;所受的,乃是兒子的心,因此我們呼叫:「阿爸!父!」
羅8:16 聖靈與我們的心同證我們是 神的兒女;
羅8:17 既是兒女,便是後嗣,就是 神的後嗣,和基督同作後嗣。如果我們和他一同受苦,也必和他一同得榮耀。
羅8:18 我想,現在的苦楚若比起將來要顯於我們的榮耀就不足介意了。
羅8:19  受造之物切望等候 神的眾子顯出來。
加4:5 要把律法以下的人贖出來,叫我們得著兒子的名分。
加4:6 你們既為兒子, 神就差他兒子的靈進入你們(原文是我們)的心,呼叫:「阿爸!父!」
加4:7 可見,從此以後,你不是奴僕,乃是兒子了;既是兒子,就靠著 神為後嗣。

注3:約10:10 盜賊來,無非要偷竊,殺害,毀壞;我來了,是要叫羊(或譯:人)得生命,並且得的更豐盛。

注4:彼前2:23他被罵不還口;受害不說威嚇的話,只將自己交託那按公義審判人的主。



Becoming Mature Sons of God
November 20th, 2014
By Diane Lake

“For the creation eagerly waits for the revelation of the sons of God.” (Rom. 8:19, NET)

Central to our identity in Christ is that we are children of God. First, we are born again unto salvation through which we enter into eternal life (see John 1:12, 13; 3:16; 1 John 3:1). And second, we grow by the spirit of adoption through which we become mature sons and daughters of God (see Rom. 8:14-19; Gal. 4:5-7). The Greek word used in John 1:12 and 1 John 3:1 is teknon, and refers to a child or newly born believer. In contrast, the Greek work huios used in the passages in Romans 8:14-19 and Galatians 4:7 denotes a mature, adult son who is an heir to his father’s name and authority, his possessions and his responsibilities.

Simply put, as children of God we possess the right of inheritance, but as mature sons and daughters we hold the key of access. Mature sons go about the business of their Father by accomplishing the purposes of God. Jesus did not come just that we might have life, but that we might have life more abundantly (John 10:10). He did not come just that we might be born into salvation, but that we might also mature into spiritual sons and daughters fully equipped to realize His purposes in the earth.

The Significance of Childhood

An important part of the growth process to becoming abundantly secure and mature spiritual children of God involves allowing God to heal us of any ungodly mindsets or wounding that might have resulted from childhood. Generally, we project the kind of experience we had in childhood with our parents onto the relationship with our heavenly Father. Consequently, it is important to become free from any negative perspectives that might affect our ability to relate to God.

Even the best and most godly parents are imperfect, so we allow the Holy Spirit to address any issues that might be affecting our perception of who we are as God’s sons and daughters. For example, you might have felt safe and well-cared for as a child, but if not, you might need the Lord’s healing touch so you do not feel He will abandon or fail in some way to consistently provide for you.

Forgiveness is Key

A significant first step in this process is to actively forgive your parents for any mistreatment or lack you experienced in childhood. Jesus set the model for this when He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). It helps immensely to realize the vast majority of parents mean well and generally do their best to protect and nurture their children. Most negative parenting is not born of evil intent, but rather, stems from our parents’ own unhealed wounds and rejection issues.

Virtually no parent would cause their children harm if they understood what, in Christ, they should do. Forgiveness neither condones nor excuses negative behaviors, but rather allows us to leave final judgment in God’s hands (1 Pet. 2:23). Regardless of whether our relationships with our parents ever become what we’d want them to be, forgiveness sets our souls free to be able to heal.

Specific Experiences Can Affect Identity

Another critical step is to ask the Holy Spirit to pinpoint any specific childhood experience that needs addressing regarding identity. It might be something obvious, but it could also be something more subtle and less dramatic than you think.

As a personal example, I am the third of three daughters in my family. My parents were genuinely good and caring people, but my dad in particular had always intensely desired a son. They had not planned to have more than two children, so when I “happened” to come along, the hope and longing for a boy was particularly strong.

Later, as an adult growing in the Lord, the Holy Spirit identified in me a persistent need to justify and defend myself. It became apparent that even as a little baby in the womb, I had absorbed the idea that I ought to have been a boy. Growing up I always felt the need to prove myself—as a perfectionist and overachiever; I was dogged by a sense of unworthiness and crippled with a fear of failure. I would not have thought this experience to be such a big deal, but little did I realize the extent to which it affected me. Supernatural healing was ministered to me as I read and absorbed Psalm 139, and my wounded soul recognized I was born exactly the way God intended me to be!

Points for Application

“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” (Rom. 8:14)

Feelings of unworthiness, rejection, or the need to try to prove oneself or earn favor with God are common and are often rooted in childhood wounds and experiences. Allow the Lord to show you if and how you might need to receive healing, that you may more abundantly perceive your full and complete identity as His child.

  • With the Lord’s help, forgive your parents of any wrongdoing/hurts that the Holy Spirit brings to mind – remembering your parents would not have hurt you if they had understood what they were doing. (If there was physical or emotional abuse, you also might want to seek the help of a caring professional, such as your pastor or a Christian therapist.)
  • Ask the Lord to minister healing as He brings root issues from childhood to mind and to deliver you from any spirits of unworthiness, inferiority, rejection or abandonment/neglect.
  • Prayerfully read and meditate on Psalm 139 and Romans 8.


This is the most recent article in a series we've been doing on Identity. Click below to read the articles you may have missed.

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